7 Signs of Self-Sabotage

7 Signs of Self-Sabotage

Terri LevineBy Terri Levine

Are you having trouble reaching all your goals? Or perhaps you are feeling blocked from going forward, or indulging in procrastination more than you should. If there is no outside source holding you back… perhaps you are doing it yourself.  You may be a victim of self-sabotage.

Here are seven signs that you may be sabotaging yourself:

  1. Negative thinking and focus.Problem: Do you verbalize all the things you feel are going wrong in life,      that are getting in your way and annoying you? This is like openly      confirming all the negativity, so no wonder you feel unambitious.

Action: Focus instead on the things that are going right.  Ask yourself what is going well in life. Notice all the things, no matter how small, that are working well. Keep an evidence journal and each day write down everything that is working. You must change your thinking.

  1. Being Afraid.Problem: Do you worry a lot about the future and what is going to happen      or might happen? Are you thinking about your fears so much that you are      paralyzed and take no action because of fear of what might occur?Action: Focus on the present. You can’t control or predict the future or      other people’s behaviors. Ask yourself “What is the worst thing that      could happen?” Then, let go and know that it isn’t in your hands to      control the future and that rarely do the scenarios we create in our heads      occur. Relax, breathe and trust that the Universe will take care of you –      it always does. Even if you don’t get what you want, you get what you      need!
  2. Feeling Worthless.Problem: Do you forget all your achievements sometimes and just lack self      pride in your work? If you stew about the past or your lack of success,      then you’ll be focused on how much you lack as a person. If you are      self-critical and find it difficult to accept compliments, you clearly      have a self-love issue to deal with. Feeling worthless will hold you back.Action: Choose to notice what you do that is good and that you can be      proud of – even if it is small. Keep a log of things about you that you      feel good about and are proud of, then when that inner voice starts      bringing you down with negative self-talk, stop it, read your log if you      need the reminder, and tell yourself all the good things about yourself.      Every day at the end of the day find as many things as you can on which to      compliment yourself.  Notice all the      small successes as well as the large and start accepting those      compliments!
  3. Self-ComparisonProblem: No matter how many times we are told, we invariably find      ourselves comparing ourselves with others… we do it spontaneously when we      have to shape up to competition. It becomes a problem though when you are      constantly comparing yourself with others and finding yourself “less      than”, which does nothing for your self esteem or motivation!Action: If our designer had wanted us all to be the same, guess what?  We’d all be the same.  Clearly we are not expected to be clones      of each other and we are different for a variety of reasons. In your log      write a list of things you like about yourself, things that make you      different in a good way. List ways in which you excel – why would you      rather be you than somebody else. Next time you feel tempted to compare      yourself, stop and think about these great things about yourself.
  4. Meeting goals and losing them.Problem: Do you often think that you don’t deserve to succeed or reach      your special goals? Why do you think that?       Why do you think that you are not good or deserving enough?Action: Start with a list of things you have accomplished and then      experienced them fading away. In what way did they bring you satisfaction      and how did they make you feel? Identify the self belief you have that      says you can’t have what you want. If, for whatever reason, you do not      believe you deserve a goal, establish a new belief – a bridge belief.      Start by writing down how you felt when you had first accomplished the      goal, and then write how you feel now without it.  Now write a “bridge” belief –      that is a belief that is a step up from what you currently feel right      now.  Each week amp up the bridge      belief.  Using a very easy example,      this would be something like, “I had lots of money and lost it and      I’m so useless I just don’t deserve more money.” For you, to believe      you’ll be a millionaire might be too large a stretch, so your bridge      belief might be: “I make more money easily and I deserve to earn more      for my efforts.” Then the week later: “I make a lot of money      very easily and I deserve it.” Each week, create a new bridge, that      you can really believe. In this manner, you’ll shift your limiting beliefs      slowly but surely.
  5. Chase away relationships.Problem: Do you distance yourself from others, or find you are constantly      finding fault with significant others, or feel something is missing?Action: Start by creating a list of the qualities you value in a      relationship and the qualities you want to attract in your partners.      Cultivate connections you have with people. Express what you want and      don’t want to the other person and allow them to express the same to you.      Create time to acknowledge the other person on a regular basis. Focus on      what feels good about the relationship and remind yourself of that when      the doubts appear.  Many people have      doubts; they just don’t let them rule their lives or their relationships!
  6. No purpose.Problem: Do you feel you have no reason for being? No purpose in life?      This is common and even the most successful people are seeking out their      purpose in life.Action: Write down all the things that are important to you (possessions,      people and feelings). Then write out what you want to contribute to the      world. From your writing, create a statement of purpose for yourself that      you can read every day. Make regular contributions to people and      community. Volunteer to an organization in your community. All volunteers      will tell you that they get more out of it than they feel they give!

Keep a list of positive statements about YOU on your fridge so you see them every day.  Start to like yourself more and know that you have a right to be here and a right to share in the happiness and success along with everyone else!

 

 

Terri Levine, The Business Mentoring Expert, specializes in helping entrepreneur-owned businesses achieve record breaking growth. Based in Philadelphia, Terri is founder and CEO or Comprehensive Coaching U, Inc., The Professional’s Coach Training Program. She has been featured on ABC, NBC, CNBC and MSNBC, and in more than 1,500 publications. She is the best-selling author of Sell Without Selling, Coaching is For Everyone, and Stop Managing Start Coaching. Learn more at http://www.TerriLevine.com. Contact Terri at Terri@TerriLevine.com.

 

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