Mentor Monday: Who is knocking on your door of opportunity?

I wrote this in July of 2010, it’s been a little more than a year now…and I want to share a journal entry from JUST BEFORE I made some radical changes to my life…read on and see where I was and then I’ll tell you a little bit more about where I am now…

Knocking on the door of opportunities

 

Kristina BlasenBy Kristina Blasen

 

If you want someone to say “Yes!” you better start knocking on some doors!

 

So here I am and I know that I need to make some radical changes to my life (and by default to my children’s lives). On one hand, this is so overwhelming that emotionally I don’t even know where to begin. Since it has to be done somehow I just pick something- anything- just to get moving. First, I know I need to leave my job as soon as possible. I’m commuting 2 hours each way because of having to drive way out of the way (in the wrong direction of course) to have daycare I can afford. I wasn’t a single parent when I took the job and that makes all the difference. I figured out that I’m getting paid for 8 hours of work, but it takes 13 hours a day just for me to work and I’m paying quite a bit for gas and parking just for the commute- not to mention in time!

I talk to people all over the country all day long at work and maybe it has something to do with being in adult education and the cross-section of the population that I’m talking to, but one thing I hear all day long is that people are out of work or fear that they will soon be out of work. Every day someone tells me their story of being recently laid off, unexpectedly losing their job or being out of work for a year or more despite looking. I start to think I may be crazy to be seriously considering leaving my job-ON PURPOSE!

I’m stuck with not being able to go and see people in person to see what other kind of income-producing opportunities might be out there so I’m reduced to e-mails and phone messages. A lot of people I worked for and who have always given me great references didn’t even call back, or if they e-mailed they didn’t offer much hope. Fear of the unknown, not knowing if I’ll be able to figure something out in time, fear of losing everything, fear of being homeless, fear of making the wrong decision WARS with knowing that I need to leave this job to make a better life for myself and my kids and keeps me STUCK and stressed out. The two things are not compatible because I want to spend time with my kids and I want us to LIVE and not just survive. I don’t just love them, most of the time I actually LIKE and enjoy them!

I have to re-teach myself what I want, I have a great opportunity to redefine and solidify my ideal life. I get to decide what goes into this life. I get to decide how I want to do things, what is important to keep and what I’m kicking to the curb! I know that a life without joy isn’t a life at all. Just surviving isn’t worth it. It is a lie to believe that having a job and a house and a husband or whatever else we hold onto to define our “normal” if it doesn’t create happiness, joy and satisfaction with ourselves is just a sham.

Change is hard work. To create change we have to DO something and too many of us are stuck in the world of ideas that we never even take the first small step of making our dreams and ideas into reality due to FEAR. Trying to live up to what we think is expected of us leads us to stop before we ever begin because we fear judgment or we self-judge that our dreams (and therefore ourselves) will never be good enough…

 

My life now– A year later, looking at my life today and some of the radical changes I’ve made, how they’re turning out (and changes I’m still working on)…I have work I love! I get to stay home and work part of the time and go into work two days a week. I get to spend time with my kids and my two year old daughter gets to stay home with me three days a week. I’m finishing my Ph.D this May and my life overall is more balanced and happy. I’m no longer trapped by an endless commute or a rigid time clock and corporate mentality that treated people like profits instead of humans…I’ve learned that I CAN be paid for my work, even when it isn’t a traditional 40 hour a week job! I have time to noodle around and learn new things, time to read, time to walk to the park and swing with my kids, time to think and plan and decide instead of being driven by a schedule and a clock that didn’t fit the life I imagined and made everything miserable. Not everything is perfect, a lot of my goals are still in progress, but it’s real and I created it!

 

Kristina BlasenYou can make radical changes, you can feel FEAR and experience change and also GET THROUGH IT and it is worth it! You can decide to make the changes you’ve been thinking about starting right now.

My life’s journey is about helping others to realize their potential, to mentor others and encourage their dreams to become reality, to help others grow, to offer counsel and support, to offer a helping hand and is realized by being a catalyst for change.

 

Kristina Blasen is a transformative life coach. She specializes in working with teens and adults to help them discover their life purpose and create a plan to turn their dreams into reality. She believes strongly in radical change! Do you need radical change in your life? She may be reached at: the.next.level.life.coach@gmail.com


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