Mentor Monday: I love you, but…how’s that workin’ for you?

Kristina Blasen is “blazing” trails with her unique insight. Today take five minutes and really read this article about the And-So Method…it’s an easy way to change your NEGATIVE thoughts into POSITIVE change. Try it, and report back about how it really instantly changes your thoughts.

Feed Your Brain, Annihilate Your Excuses

Kristina BlasenBy Kristina Blasen

One of the habits that I have that is different from many people is that I read constantly. I’ll read anything! Instead of watching TV, I can usually be found with a book in my hand learning about something new. Last weekend we went to the Arboretum to enjoy and play in the beautiful fall leaves here in Minnesota and I was lucky enough to go during a $2 a bag book sale!  Since I love learning and books, you can imagine that I had a lot of fun wandering around and filling an entire paper bag with great books in all different subjects knowing that now I’d have a fresh supply of reading material to keep my mind busy learning new things over the next few months without breaking the bank!

At this sale one of the fun books I picked up and read the same night was called “Girlfriend, Listen up!” by Mother Love, a radio personality and actress. No matter what topic I’m always learning something new and often I start with an idea I read or hear about and then apply it in new and unexpected ways to what I do!

Mother Love was talking about how so many people say “I love you, BUT” which is never going to work, and how these relationships can only start to work when it becomes “I love you, AND”
For example, “I love you, BUT you talk too much”…that doesn’t strengthen a relationship. Now, turn that around and say “I love you AND you talk too much…” this is a message that “I love you for you, just as you are”, or “I love you despite any preceived or real flaws you have.”

This made me think of all of you with dreams that you want to create BUT you can’t seem to leave the excuses for why they aren’t happening, or why you aren’t working on them right now out of your explanations.

You say, “I want to start my own business, BUT I don’t have the money…I want to be my own boss, BUT I’m too lazy…I want to get a better, higher paying job, BUT I don’t have the training or the degree I need…”

The And-So Method
What if you teach yourself to say instead, “I want to start my own business, AND I don’t have the money, SO I’m going to [do X] to keep working towards my goal while a save each week.”

“I want to be my own boss, AND I feel like I’m too lazy, SO I’m going to [do X] to keep myself on track and productive.”

“I want to get a better, higher paying job, AND I don’t have the training or the degree I need SO I’m going to [do X] to get my foot in the door and gain experience in my new field.”

Notice above the role of [do x] is in context with how you are thinking and talking to yourself about the actual steps that you will take to keep taking actions and moving forward while working on creating your dreams and meeting your goals, this is very important.

What is your go-to excuse and how can you rewrite that excuse using the And-So method so that you can overcome it and move forward?


Kristina BlasenMy life’s journey is about helping others to realize their potential, to mentor others and encourage their dreams to become reality, to help others grow, to offer counsel and support, to offer a helping hand and is realized by being a catalyst for change.


Kristina Blasen is a transformative life coach. She specializes in working with teens and adults to help them discover their life purpose and create a plan to turn their dreams into reality. She believes strongly in radical change! Do you need radical change in your life? She may be reached at:


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