Escape Unemployment Despair, Move Beyond ‘Just Surviving’

In this issue of Mentor Online Magazine, Transformative Life Coach Kristina Blasen shares some motivational insight into how you can move beyond “survival”. It doesn’t matter if you CHOOSE to become self employed or become UNemployed or under-employed in the course of your life, what matters is your attitude and how you transition through it. Change is tough. Read Kristina’s essay and use this as motivation to move forward with your life. Please provide your feedback and comments and most of all, if it helps you, please let me know and do share with your friends. Thanks! Tamara Patzer, publisher for MentorOnlineMagazine.com

Don’t be discouraged.  It’s often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.  ~ Author Unknown

 

Escape Unemployment Despair, Move Beyond ‘Just Surviving’ & Create the Foundation for a New Life of Abundance

Kristina Blasen

By Kristina Blasen

The biggest problem with unemployment (however you came to be in the situation in the first place) is that it eats away at your self esteem. Sure, you can fake it for awhile and most people hold out hope for awhile, but when no new job is on the horizon or you are sitting at home sending out resume after resume with no response, when you’ve networked with anyone and everyone and even interviewed and waited days and weeks for “THE CALL” and no call ever comes it is natural that you lose HOPE.

The combination of losing your self worth, your pride in yourself and in your work, the added pressure on your family, the isolation from everyone like you have the “Unemployment plague”, the endless waiting game that turns into “nobody loves me, nobody wants me”, the endless questioning of every action, every past purchase made, then doubt really creeps in and you become convinced that something is wrong with you and that everyone must think you were some kind of terrible employee, that you deserved to be unemployed because if you’re not working there must be something wrong with you-right?

You live with the fear that grows just a little bigger each day, each hour, each job posting that you read that is even less related to your skill set than the last. If you are one of the lucky few who somehow “qualify” for unemployment benefits then you get to stay in this H-E-L-L of waiting/hoping/spiraling down into unemployment depression for a long, long time while you get just a bit further behind on your bills each month, praying that the car holds out, trying to figure out how to keep the phone turned on and gas in the car in case you get “THE INTERVIEW”…

If you’re like most, you don’t qualify for unemployment benefits or they already ran out a long time ago so now you are borrowing from family to live and when that runs out you are on the welfare rolls for what might be the FIRST TIME in your life. Going on welfare makes unemployment depression, anxiety and hopelessness much worse, but hey, at least you can eat, right?

The Change Needs to Come From You

Unemployment SUCKS, but hear me now, this is NOT GOING TO GO AWAY. Nothing is going to change or get better all by itself and the only person who can make something happen to change this is YOU.

Everything you’ve done so far hasn’t worked. Everything someone in a class told you to do or that you learned from a job book hasn’t worked. You’re going to have to stop looking OUTSIDE yourself and look inside yourself for some really amazing ideas and do things WAY out of your comfort zone by stepping up to this new and different world (instead of whining about the new and different world and why it can’t go back to the way it used to be and feeling sorry for yourself and why won’t anybody help you- meaning do it for you).

Look IN the box

Everyone says, “Think outside the box” when you’re unemployed and I’m saying, “Look IN the box, at the skills, talents and resources you already have on hand, the stuff YOU know that you take for granted or that you think isn’t important. With the right attitude (i.e. kick unemployment depression to the curb & no more feeling sorry for yourself) ANY SKILL can become a product to make you money and all kinds of things you have around the house can be sold, stuff you’ve always just known how to DO can become a service that others will pay you to do, if only you will try and be confident in yourself.

This won’t get fixed overnight, but right now you’re doing nothing or, at least we know for sure, what you’ve been doing hasn’t worked so what do you have to lose by trying something new? If that doesn’t work, what do you have to lose by trying something else new? Do you get my meaning here? Don’t let unemployment get you down, stop and face the new reality and make the best of it and actively work to create the life you WANT instead of settling for the J-O-B that everyone told you was what you needed to survive and pay your bills because the world is different today and you can’t expect the same old way of doing things to work anymore- even if we wish that it could.

Yep, you may “lose everything”, you could “be homeless”, you could “go bankrupt”–what are the fears that are eating you alive inside and that are binding you so tight with worry and anxiety that you can’t think and you can’t DO anything? NAME THEM, WRITE THEM, FACE THEM and then you are so much closer to CONQUERING them.

How to eliminate fear:

1) Name your fears

2) Write them down

3) Face your fears

4) Conquer your fears

 

Rethink your life. Is it the end of the world if you move to a smaller place? What if you have to move out of state or take in roommates or ride the bus? Nothing is forever and all of us tend to think in black and white statements. It feels like it would be the end of the world if we have to give up something and we want to blame “unemployment” or “the economy” or whatever else, but these are just games we play with ourselves to avoid having to deal with MAKING CHOICES.

Decide to Make Choices

When we have low self esteem we have trouble DECIDING and MAKING CHOICES. We fear that we are not capable of making good choices or the CHOICES and OPTIONS that we can see are all a case of bad, terrible and even worse than the rest. So, we do nothing. NOTHING IS THE WORST POSSIBLE CHOICE OF ALL. I will say that again because it is really, really important that all unemployed people understand that DOING NOTHING IS THE WORST POSSIBLE CHOICE OF THEM ALL. Doing nothing NEVER works out in your favor. Stuff will still happen, the landlord will file for eviction, the company will show up and repossess the car, but if you do nothing then you have NO CONTROL over what happens.

“Doing Nothing is the worst possible choice of all.”

When you have to decide between bad options, first, GET A SECOND OPINION! Ask family and friends and anyone else who is not mired in the unemployment despair for their advice and to name any other options that they see that you might take. Second, set a sensible date when you must stop “thinking about it” and DECIDE what ACTION you are going to take. ACTION is key here- you need to figure out what to do, will you call someone, write a letter, show up in court, depending on your decision, you need to pair THOUGHTS with ACTIONS that you take in the real world. FEAR keeps us frozen and unable to act, but taking ACTIONS and making DECISIONS give us back a sense of control and POWER in our lives.

Take Action

Feeling like you have the POWER to create the CHANGES that are needed in your life is the first step to regaining a MEANINGFUL LIFE and escaping the trap of unemployment depression.

Take ACTION and take back your life today!

Kristina Blasen

Kristina Blasen

My life’s journey is about helping others to realize their potential, to mentor others and encourage their dreams to become reality, to help others grow, to offer counsel and support, to offer a helping hand and is realized by being a catalyst for change.
Kristina Blasen is a transformative life coach. She specializes in working with teens and adults to help them discover their life purpose and create a plan to turn their dreams into reality. She believes strongly in radical change! Do you need radical change in your life? She may be reached at: the.next.level.life.coach@gmail.com

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